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Monday, May 11, 2015

70% of domestic adoptions are girls... boys get adopted overseas


Article: Severe state of female adoption preference in Korea... 70% of domestic adoptions are female, males get adopted overseas

Source: SBS via Nate

1. [+789, -74] Having a son only has meaning if he's your own blood line... to just raise, a baby girl is a lot cuter, which is why I think families prefer girls.

2. [+663, -66] It's not like an adopted son can continue your family line. If you're going to raise a baby for the rest of your life, I'm sure families would prefer an aegyo-filled daughter than a quiet and reserved son.

3. [+77, -12] I've heard the term 'daughter babo' a lot but I've never once heard of a 'son babo'.

4. [+64, -23] Little boys are so hard to raise, they're so rambunctious~ -_-

5. [+59, -4] I remember when my grandma was sick, all of my aunts took terms taking care of her but my uncles didn't do anything. I think that's why families prefer daughters.

6. [+53, -5] I'm a male myself but I'd also prefer adopting a girl

7. [+48, -11] Honestly, raising a daughter is a lot more fun.. there's also a lot more to risk when raising a son. What if he grows up to hang out with Ilbe users and stuff... you pretty much have to consider him dead to you.

8. [+42, -4] I think daughters are more conscious of their parents than sons are

-

Source: Naver

1. [+2,622, -135] Good for the baby boys, they don't have to serve in the army if they're adopted overseas. Have a good life in a real advanced country.

2. [+2,552, -319] I feel like families might instinctively choose baby girls because they're weaker and specifically having a son doesn't matter if he can't continue your blood line..

3. [+2,608, -674] Even in the past when families preferred having sons, people much rather preferred adopting baby girls... They help with the family a lot more when they're older whereas men are pretty much useless.

4. [+1,993, -621] Don't daughters help out a ton more when they're all grown up? Even my mom always tells me, "I wish we had a daughter in the house~" ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

5. [+692, -43] I also think the rebellion rate of adoptees have a lot to do with it. If they hit puberty and start rebelling over being adopted and whatnot, it's a lot harder to control a male out of line than female.

6. [+650, -73] The male preference is a thing of the past. Newlyweds nowadays mostly want daughters.

7. [+620, -65] Little girls are a lot more caring and can connect better emotionally than little boys. When they grow up, they can also go shopping and to the saunas with their moms... Nowadays, there's no wall in society just for being a woman so families prefer girls to boys.

8. [+541, -23] Male preference was only a thing when families in the past cared about continuing the family line... nowadays, you raise a boy and girl there's barely a difference and no one cares about continuing family lines.

-

287 comments:

  1. Ew, people talking about children like they're something you go and buy at a convenience store.

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  2. [+2,622, -135] Good for the baby boys, they don't have to serve in the army if they're adopted overseas. Have a good life in a real advanced country.



    Sad truth. Conscription should've died in World War 2.

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  3. That's basically how a lot of people view adoption, it's pretty sad...

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  4. Yo you people always have a problem with something. Holy shit relax don't take comments so literally.

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  5. llike choosing puppies or sth
    smh

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  6. Wow this is just.....wow. I feel bad for all those little Korean baby John Snows...

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  7. I'm very creped out with the way the comments talks about the children like they are a trending cloths or something sadder part is that its not that uncommon.

    besides all the creepiness its funny how Koreans act as if they are the only country where men has to serve in the Army.

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  8. Yuck dont have babies or adopt babies if you are just using them to help your future finances

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  9. Seriously? Get thicker skin.. It's not like they said "I want a baby girl with light brown hair and big brown eyes and maybe a few freckles on her nose as well."

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  10. And that belief that "ONLY BOYS CAN CONTINUE THE BLOOD LINE"

    So myopic, non-scientific and unfair. This traditional belief is still so prevalent in many societies tho. Sad truth :(

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  11. These people sound like they make babies to continue their bloodline and adopt to get some help with household chores. I just... why?

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  12. 1. [+2,622, -135] Good for the baby boys, they don't have to serve in the army if they're adopted overseas. Have a good life in a real advanced country
    HAHA what a logic ~ LOL!

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  13. 2. [+2,552, -319] I feel like families might instinctively choose baby girls because they're weaker

    A kid is a kid no matter female or male they are physically just equally weak and small ok? pretty sure these 2552 sexist misogynistic people can't live without at least one female

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  14. I prefer a boy but either one is ok. Regardless of gender I'm just glad people are adopting.

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  15. Wtf? I think boys are cuter than baby girls, of course I think is all about the kids you know -I have two nephews boys- but is good that they are getting adoppted after all. I always have think that I'm not going to give born but adopt an Asian kid lol

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  16. The feeling I get from these comments is girl are the best to do households works and being cute meanwhile boys are useless.
    And overall it's like they're talking about products. Hum...

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  17. 1. [+2,622, -135] Good for the baby boys, they don't have to serve in the army if they're adopted overseas. Have a good life in a real advanced country.

    I laughed Ngl.

    Anyway, I always thought it was the other way around. I know/have been associated with more adopted Korean girls than I have boys.

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  18. disqus_QBwmIa4ChaMay 11, 2015 at 4:09 PM

    3. [+2,608, -674] Even in the past when families preferred having sons,
    people much rather preferred adopting baby girls... They help with the
    family a lot more when they're older whereas men are pretty much
    useless.



    4. [+1,993, -621] Don't daughters help out a ton more when they're all
    grown up? Even my mom always tells me, "I wish we had a daughter in the
    house~" ㅋㅋㅋㅋ


    Too dump all the house chores on them is what they are looking for

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  19. Well, I hope they adopt for the right reasons. Not just to have a barbie doll they can dress up when she's little and then turn her into a housemaid/nurse when she gets older.

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  20. Boys: Will continue my blood line, family name
    Girls: Will take care of me when I'm older

    That's what people think when they see cute little babies? This world is cold

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  21. Kinda wish India and China loved baby girls as much as Korea apparently does.

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  22. If you want to have a child you should care about his/her health and not about their gender...

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  23. It's sad that adoption is being treated this way, but if you can't have kids of your own then these are the possible things you kind of have no choice but to think about. You might not fall in love with a child you see right away. I understand that someone might think about these things while going through the process of adoption. I think it's part of human nature, sadly.

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  24. In my culture,it's the "Girls must clean the house, feed the men and listen to them" motto.
    This is so frustrating. And I'm in constant rebellious stage because of it. (I seriously can't stand that way of thinking).

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  25. No, no, you didn't get it.
    Girls are more useful because they don't actually have brains! They're puppets! You raise them and when you're old, they'll clean your house and feed you!
    Whereas boys are useless! They can think! Have different opinions than yours, contrary to girls, because they have a brain! Boys are dangerous!

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  26. This makes me so sad, seriously I feel bad for any adopted boy or girl who is going to read this.

    It's disgusting, they are humans.

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  27. all these comments remind me of that i get treated like a maid from my parents but my brother is the king

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  28. I think its more as in the sense as normally when you get married the wife takes her spouses last name, so of you get only daughters its kind of like "the blood line isn't continued, but if scientifically speaking it makes no sense at all

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  29. The thing is fathers many times prefer to get a boy but once they get a girl is crazy how protective they are and how much more they put in a girl than a boy

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  30. It's all about upbringing though. "Don't daughters help out a ton more when they're all grown up?" this is mostly true because the parents place more responsibility onto their daughters and expect more from them.
    If you raise your son into being helpful then he will be helpful.

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  31. So this idea is accepted, where you live?

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  32. i believe that was sarcasm

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  33. well i'm not exactly surprised.... i grew up in an environment where this mentality is prevalent in most of the older generations. it's hard to let go of something that has been ingrained in most people's minds for as long as they have lived. thankfully society's views on these kinds of topics are constantly evolving but that doesn't mean that fragments of that kind of outlook won't linger

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  34. LOL i had too much coffee...

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  35. It's true that babies are not products but at the end, you have to face this choice: boy or girl. And everyone has their reasons.

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  36. The fuck? Bloodline? The fuck?

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  37. This sounds more like girls can serve their families for life.

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  38. So essentially they want a live-in maid.

    There's a lot of factors that go into adoption, including gender and race.Black children for example get adopted at far fewer rates than white children, same thing with disabled children.

    The entire adoption industry in Korea needs an overhaul.This tumblr user (A Korean-American adoptee) has a lot of great posts on the problems in the system, including children who were illegally adopted out by large agencies

    http://peaceshannon.tumblr.com/tagged/adoption

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  39. eeek people talking like they are buying a slave or something...

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  40. Adopting a child is a very hard decision to make, because you basically have to love the child as if they were your own. In a lot of cases, they end up being left out by the family because they don't feel a sense of belonging, or they end up not being "what the family expected", worse if there is jealousy when the parents already had children. It's a very tough decision to make, I'm not against it or for it, because who knows how much we'd prefer to have our own child...

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  41. well they are talking about adoptions and sometimes people do treat kids as if they were products at a convenience store when they are looking to adopt

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  42. My society is no different, too. It's frustrating how many families these days still expect baby boys to continue the blood/kin lines. The terrible thing is that many female fetuses were even aborted just because they're not male :(

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  43. Babies are people. Let's not forget. People and not products.

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  44. blood line meaning family line. when girl gets married she gets registered under her husbands family tree. meaning.

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  45. Are they adopting children or maids? It's not the gender but the education that will show who is filial and who isn't.

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  46. i think there might be some other factors as to why girls are mostly adopted in Korea. Regardless adopting isn't easy and at the end of the day you have together questions to discuss with your spouse.

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  47. I'm the only one who thinks some comments sound like girls benefit the family more, like some kind of maid who doesn't oppose much and easier to control?

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  48. The funny thing is female babies are actually stronger than male ones in many cases due to genetics

    http://www.livescience.com/574-survival-fetus-males-rough.html

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  49. I love when sexist elderly parents see the results of spoiling the shit out of their son cuz of son preference. Like no shit your self centered son isn't helping you much in your state cuz you have raised him to be entitled with no responsibilities. That's what happened to my grandparents. My uncles have put in the least effort to take care of them. My aunts and mom contribute a lot more.

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  50. actually i think they mean about the children. The child typically takes the father's last name. So if they have the family name of X and their daughter marries a man with the family name of Y then their children would take the Y last name

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  51. Well in most cultures, even the so-called progressive Westerm ones, children still take their father's last names, this has been such an entrenched part of human civilisation.


    Funnily enough, it's the Western women who take their husband's last names when they get married. Most Asian cultures I know, the women keep their maiden name.

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  52. I dont see it in the comment that implying girls have to do house chores

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  53. Koreans, please don't think Korea is less advanced than other places, in Norway where I live, a woman and man that are elderly and in need of care from the public service, get less time and money spent on them if they have a daughter living in the same county, whereas when they have a son they receive more money and more time. And Norway is the same on health care as Sweden, which a lot of people have heard of.
    It's everywhere. Gender roles, discrimination, shitty people on power trips and corruption is everywhere.
    Living here or there it does not matter.

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  54. Lmao definitely sarcasm, it's fine

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  55. So revealing.
    LOL- Is like children will raise themselves. Like, a parent has nothing to do except giving them food and a place to live. So when a male is grown, he'll justo do whatever because he has no link to this family but a girl is expected to always be there...


    Of course is the way you raise a child!! give them love and values!!

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  56. Yep there are quite a bit of cultures where the wife does not take the last name of the husband. I asked my mother why the women in our home country don't take the last name of the husband and she was like "why would I take your fathers last name when I have my own?"

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  57. While the comments putting down sons are unnecessary, I think its important that we look at how fast Korea has almost completely gotten ridden of it's son preference. I'd be interested to know how it happened and if it could be implemented into countries that still have such a strong son preference that people have abortions until they can get a son.

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  58. That depends on which society you look at. I believe in Chinese culture, the wives have to take the husband's surname, right?

    For my society, the wives don't have to. But the patriarchy mindset is still quite strong. Sons are more treasured than girls.

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  59. Amy Taemint LaneMay 11, 2015 at 4:29 PM

    tbh I like having daughters, I think they will understand and connect with me better... But I also need at least a son to protect me and help me with technologies

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  60. Aborted ? Poor unborn babies...Our world is so so cold

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  61. Just raised your children nicely and treat your elderly properly....

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  62. This is so sad
    so boys are only there to carry your bloodline? dont they have their own aspirations, personalities, filial piety?

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  63. but not always, look at jaejoong parent, even if he is not their blood son, they wanted to continue their family name, so basically they adopted him ( and from his parent viewws that the same reasong they want him to have a baby )

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  64. While the comments putting down sons are unnecessary, I think its important that we look at how fast Korea has almost completely gotten ridden of it's son preference. I'd be interested to know how it happened and if it could be implemented into countries that still have such a strong son preference that people have abortions until they can get a son

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  65. Nope, I'm ethnic Chinese. There is no custom of taking the husband's surname. I told myself I would never change my surname when I get married and I didn't. Of course, traditionally, the wife "belongs" to the husband's family but in the modern context, these views don't have much traction.

    In fact when I was in school, the Chinese-educated teachers all kept their maiden names, while the English-educated teachers went by Mrs xxxxx.

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  66. no, you are definitely not the only one. that's essentially what some of these people are saying.

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  67. yes. that too. child of course gets registered under fathers family tree, too.

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  68. most of the part...it what korean males spect whne it cames to a son

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  69. Ugh same.Recently my mom's gone overseas to work and I'm the only girl at home with my father and brother.I take care of the basic chores and it's not like I mid doing them but it pisses me off that they EXPECT me to do so and refuse to help.Male entitlement ugh

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  70. amaya aguero monzonMay 11, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    Their way of thinking is incredibly backwards !! They say boys don't do this and that but guess what.. that s all part of the sexist enviroment they were raised in !! Boy's always saw their dad's and uncles do nothing while the daugter was teached that she has to help out and has to be nice and pretty and be there for her mum n dad while the boy never needed to so ofc he ain't going to care much later on !! It's not like all boy's have some sort of gene that make them a jerk !!
    And wtf is that bloodline bs !! If you adopt a kid it shouldn't matter that he is not your blood that is why you adopted in the first place !! Even if you adopt a son he is going to carry on maybe not your blood line but at least you family name (surname) !! and freaking blood line (?) are we still in the 1800's ?
    In my country same shit happens and I hate it so much !!

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  71. Thanks for link!

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  72. Its not just culture but some religion teach it that way...

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  73. They are saying the truth though.

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  74. it's scary how they think about babies...

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  75. wll for them is very important to take care of their family line, is like a duty they past true generations ( and is not unusual)

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  76. As far as I know, in Japan the couple has to share the same surname, which is most of the time the husband's.
    In Western countries, you can actually choose. You can take your husband's name, keep yours, hyphenate the two, or have both.

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  77. As much as I love korean entertainment, I'll never date a korean male from korea, where the women do most of the work.

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  78. Islamically, the concept of taking your husband's name is not required but western influence in my country means that women started doing it.My mother was the first in three generations who didn't, (although it helped that she and my dad had the same last name lol) and I don't plan on doing so either

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  79. Well as long as kids are being adopted it's a good thing . I think it just depends on who is doing the adopting at the time that reflects on the sex being adopted . I bet it will always fluctuate up and down between both .

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  80. Honestly I kind of agree, but I didn't want to say it. All the men I know don't really help out much when they moved out while the women I know are always there for their families..

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  81. amaya aguero monzonMay 11, 2015 at 4:39 PM

    Yeah but that is only possible if you have a boy since it's his surname that is going to be passed down to his kids !! So in that case they should adopt more boys but they are scared that the boy will turn out to be a jerk when they were the ones that raised him..

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  82. Idk about how it works in other countries, but since I work at an airport I've seen Korean passports and the wife's passport will usually say in parentheses "wife of" and occupation more often than not says housewife for women. And most do take their husband's name

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  83. Comment 1 smh. "To just raise". If you gave your daughter the same opportunities as your biological son maybe we wouldn't be having this discussion. The fact that they adopt a girl under the assumption that she won't run the family business or do great things is absolute shit.

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  84. they still prefer sons. the problem is that an adopted son won't continue on the bloodline and thus is no more valuable than a daughter.


    thus, it makes more sense to them to get a live-in maid AKA daughter because they somehow think boys are incapable of learning how to do laundry or tend to a sick person.

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  85. the thing is only desasparate parent do that ( like jaejoong case), mostly parent want their blood son, and is not only sure name, korean ahd something like family tree, where they register all, they mostly want to carry their family, real blood

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  86. Really? My Korean friend who is married did not take her husband's surname. And she is highly educated but is a housewife because, well I think in Korean and Japanese cultures, a women is expected to stay home after marriage.

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  87. You can actually take the womens familyname or have both as your last name.. You can also create a new one or both can keep their own name.. I would love for my future husband to get mine last name since I want our kids to have my lastname, since it's so rare and it will die out if they wont have it. (only 4 people has it as a last name..)

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  88. kotrean women dont take husbands surnames after marriage.

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  89. because jaejoong's family believed more in nurture than nature - and their fruit of labours bloomed into a wonderful man (yes, i'm a fantard! heh).

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  90. Hmmm do you think some people might be having sons to continue the bloodline and then adopting daughters to do house work and take care of parents when they get older?

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  91. Yea I work in the am so I gt a lot of Koreans connecting through my terminal, the first time I got see a Korean passport I looked good and hard at it. I was surprised honestly.now whenever I get one, I always look to see if it says wife of or housewife

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  92. lol, ok. I actually think jaejoong parents were desesparate for it, I saw their invterview and they still think even their grandchildren from a son are different from a daughter. They do want to continue their family anme , even if was not by blood , so yeah they were desesparate

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  93. There is a practical problem with double-barrelled names because when you get married to another person who also has a hyphenated name, doesn't this mean your kids have to have four hyphenated names? And so on?

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  94. "Don't daughters help out a lot more when they are grown up?"-.- Just raise a son who takes care of the family, it's not that hard. My brother is obliged to do the same things as I am, so cleaning and making food, taking care of our grandma. It's all about raising all your children, boys and girls, the same way and expect the same things from them.

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  95. Well it's not wrong... And they aren't even thinking of it like that.. why are you trying to make something out of nothing

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  96. I wouldn't have accepted that. For me everyone need to do their share of works. So when my mom isn't around I'm like a little dictator who order my brothers (sometimes my father too...) around. We need more equality ! u_u

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  97. Yeah.






    But ain't no one trynna pay for pads every month

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  98. i don't think that's a fair assessment, though. i don't want to be all #notallmen here but... not all men in korea are the same. some of them *do* believe in gender equality, they just might be harder to find than in a more liberal society.

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  99. purrsandscratchesMay 11, 2015 at 4:48 PM

    I wouldn't say there's no custom, there definitely is one, perhaps you just haven't experienced it? my teacher got us to address her differently (mrs xx instead of ms yy or mdm yy) and most married Chinese women consider themselves as part of the new family they married into. if their husbands name is Lee, then the wife is also now a Lee.

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  100. it wouldn't surprise me, but god, i hope not.

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  101. I know what u mean, my dad was like that too, really ~oldschool~...but at one point, I said some not so nice words and told him I only take care of myself from now on and that my brothers and him are on their own...
    now he even helps with cleaning the dishes...I will never accept again that a man uses me like that

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  102. So disturbing honestly
    But I can understand some of the sentiments. The part where girls are basically more useful. Its true.
    But sis, c'mon, thats about how you raise them. Raise a boy to take care of himself and others, and he will. Raise a boy like a spoilt prince who might break if he does a chore, he will be useless to you.
    Don't really get the part about the blood line crap though.

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  103. purrsandscratchesMay 11, 2015 at 4:50 PM

    frankly you can do that in many countries, Asian or not. it is after all, your own name. the custom, though, is to adopt the husbands name, right?

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  104. Well, in that case I guess you'd better choose either one XD.
    You can also pick your child's surname apparently in some countries. I read that you can actually give them a new surname as well, which is kinda weird.

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  105. thankfully girls are really appreciated here. knowing what is going on around the world, i fell so lucky to be raised in my family.

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  106. I don't know about other Asian countries, I only knew about the Japanese law that married couples have to share a name. And yes, it is generally the custom to take the husband's name, even today.

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  107. I think to some certain extent what a lot of them are saying is true. Families prefer to adopt girls because they feel like the girls could take better care of them when they are older. In my country, Chinese families do it pretty often even when they have their own biological children. My neighbour had a daughter but they still adopted a baby girl and she takes care of them in their old age now whereas their biological daughter stays with her in-laws instead. Same goes for a few families that I know of. It's not as common now though.

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  108. loling @ this comment while learning my sociology lesson where some experts talk about children as investments.

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  109. purrsandscratchesMay 11, 2015 at 4:54 PM

    what else are they gonna base their choices on? just close their eyes and point?? the ignorant hate on this site is overwhelming sometimes

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  110. No, it is most definitely not a cultural custom for Korean women to take their husband's surname. What you were seeing was probably a Korean woman whose maiden name was the same as her husband's surname, hence appearing as if she had changed it to his. This is a common occurrence considering that over 20% of Koreans have the surname Kim, about 20% the surname Lee, etc.

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  111. purrsandscratchesMay 11, 2015 at 4:55 PM

    where did you even get that from the original comments I have no clue...

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  112. That is definitely Western influence. Traditionally, Chinese women do not share last names with their husbands and are referred to as 女士. It is only with the Western influence that 太太 (Mrs) became popular.

    Useful Wikipedia links (in Chinese):
    http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A4%AB%E5%A7%93
    http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%A5%B3%E5%A3%AB

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  113. and so when parents will stop this discrimination? it's about how you raise your kids not what gender they are... can we get over it? i think it's a shame some people still think that boys are better than girls or vice versa

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  114. yas gurl, refuse this nonsense and speak up!

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  115. In Japan women take their husbands' surnames, but in Korea and China they retain their maiden name. Not sure for other Asian countries.

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  116. it's white supremacy that made homosexuality a sin and made current traditional archetypes of "woman" and "men" what they are today.


    or more than white supremacy, white religions.

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  117. Right? I only wonder how much my future kids will look like me, never thought of kids as people who would take care of me when I'll be on my death bed.

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  118. Yes. But because people raise boys to not raise a finger at home and live like a king, that's why he ends up like that.

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  119. As far as I know, Indian women keep their maiden surnames too.

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  120. omg...these are humans, not fucking toys or accessories. Wtf is wrong with people. i can't even stand those that "want" a boy over a girl or some shit. A child that has unconventional love for you is something u can never buy.

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  121. which one is the original? i think i remember that outfit he certainly didn't have his make up likethat


    i think it's tacky omg i prefer his burgundy make up *.*

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  122. ..but..but what`s wrong with having a boy? Child is a child, sex doesn`t really matter. What matters, is the way of how you raise your child. Men can take care of their parents as well, just raise them properly.

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  123. I'm doing a great job being an awful daughter when it come to that. xD

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  124. You quit being the myopic nonscientific one. You don't even know what they're talking about yet you're working yourself up.

    First of all it's silly to obsess about semantics when something is translated from ANOTHER LANGUAGE into English.

    "Bloodline" here means patrimony or inheritance. How things worked is that because most of the WEALTH of a Korean family was land (prior to American occupation/colonization and the subsequent bombing/wiping out of 95% of the country almost all Koreans were farmers... again over 90% of families)

    Korea was kept extremely poor both by the Qing and the Japanese because they understood what a danger a developed Korea had been in past history, so most families had just enough land to support 1 family. So most families could not DIVIDE their land for inheritance without making the land useless to support the main line of the family. So one boy would inherit the LAND and the parents would live with them. This is what they mean by bloodline. It's who would "take over" the family and continue the traditions, economics and name of the family. This is what they're talking about.

    Patrimony and inheritance being worked into society is one of the basic building blocks of any society. You literally cannot have an OPINION on things in a particular society like "what is marriage" or legal things like property rights or gender roles without comprehending this idea because this one issue is so central to how things are defined in any society

    For example here in the US, we had something called "one drop rule" for blacks. It was the idea that any bit of black ancestry made you "black." This is very different to even other slave societies like the French with Haiti, or Spanish with Mexico who had sophisticated ideas of mulattos, half breeds and other racial distinctions.

    And in the US this racial segregation was also related to patrimony and inheritance rights. By the standards of any Western system, if you could establish legitimate DESCENT from a landowner, you would automatically be ENSURED property rights as well. Making everyone with one drop of black ancestry "black" meant you could keep them slaves (after all it would have been WRONG to keep a white person... even a partially white person... a SLAVE). It also made it so African Americans had no legal recourse to pursue their patrimony or due inheritance.

    Today in Korea because of Westernization, and the removal of certain safeguards. Among WOMEN it's often preferred to have daughters. This is because the ECONOMIC INCENTIVE of having a boy who could take care of you in your dotage is gone. There is retirement, and Korean women feel that if they have a good relationship with their daughter the 2 of them can "teamup" to dominate the son and basically ensure that they have a stronger relationship with their own daughters than potentially "lose" their son to their own daughter-in-law and her mother.

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  125. 2. [+239, -60] I think the majority of the guys who put on make up are gay..

    I can't believe there are those kind of comments in 21st century

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  126. Also, I hate neck beards

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  127. Yeah, sometimes people tend to share really ugly edit pics lol

    But Baekhyun looks gorgeous with eyeliner, line in here

    http://33.media.tumblr.com/e87d465e2d518b01e05aff33262d86ba/tumblr_nnrwe0nxF21qgnxifo3_250.gif



    Hope admins don't delete this uwu

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  128. These netizens talk like people are supposed to be adopting live-in maids. Just pay for a butler. It's cheaper than raising a child. I think it's very low to adopt and not consider them your own blood.

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  129. i think we should start calling it eye liner

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  130. I don't even get the relevance though because if we're talking about 'family name' surely the adopted kid is gonna have the surname of the family they are adopted into? So if you're concerned about such things, an adopted son will still 'continue the name'. And if we're not talking about name but 'bloodline' or whatever other archaic beliefs we're discussing here, then adopting any child would nullify the possibility of 'continuing the bloodline' based on the fundamental fact that the adopted child shares exactly 0% of the adopted parents genes so there would be no difference whatsoever between adopting a boy or a girl.

    On another note those gender norms ew.

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  131. In Korea women do not take the husband's last name.

    This is because even after marriage a woman in Korea retained her original identity and rights. This has to do with patrimony and "chokbo" (or family geneology). Offspring would be entered as "official family" and take the family name but wives, not being of the "bloodline" would be part of her own family's chokbo.


    Basically you couldn't "double dip." If you were in one family book it would be improper to be registered into another. And since the surname was tied to the chokbo, they kept their own name.



    In Western countries, we are ignorant of all these other customs, so a married couple with different surnames would encounter confusion and discrimination. Possibly even be denied legal married status. So there are various notes put on overseas documents.


    You're right that it sounds weird, but they are more concerned with establishing clearly the mutual relationship between a married couple than anything else IMO. Why it says "wife of" rather than putting "husband of" on the wife's passport is because of the WESTERN convention of using the husband's name for legal documents receipts etc. Also Koreans are paternalistic as hell and men come first

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  132. 5. [+59, -4] I remember when my grandma was sick, all of my aunts took terms taking care of her but my uncles didn't do anything. I think that's why families prefer daughters.

    my situation now. 😅 but with sons, comes daughter in law.

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  133. Skincare is important (no matter the gender). I don't think it should be in the same level as wearing makeup in my opinion. Personally, I could never date a guy who uses lipstick, eyeliner, foundation etc. That is just my personal preference. HOWEVER if a guy wants to then I think we are no one to judge anyone. It is his body, skin, LIFE etc. I think that the trend of makeup might be more about societal pressure than anything else. Korea seems to be a very looks based society where any little flaw could screw up your chances. I read somewhere that you have to attach a photo on your resume when you apply for a job. If this is true then the pressure is really on to look your best at all times!

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  134. I'm not sure if the commenter implied that being gay is a bad thing.

    I do sorta agree with the comment because it implies theres a stereotype. In my society (Netherlands, Western Europe) most men with proper makeup are celebs/models or gay. That's not a bad thing, but that's still the opinion people have these days.

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  135. 'A girl is better because all she will do is obey those around her, help with domestic duties, look pretty and act cute when asked to, but boys?! Boys are allowed the luxury of individual thought and opinions and opinions are dangerous we don't want boys. Give us a cute puppet girl. Ah yes. Wonderful. Don't forget to teach her to be pretty and cute first and foremost'

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  136. In most societies, it was important to have a son to not only carry on the bloodline but also the family name. The males were also first in line for any inheritance or to take over a family business. It may sound harsh, but that's why people had children - to keep their bloodline & family name going. In the US when males were being drafted for war, families with only one boy were okay since they needed that male to carry on the family name.

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  137. I hope you never decide to adopt.

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  138. I think I'd be fine if my man took care of his skin like acne and stuff like that but to this day, I still can't stomach the idea of men wearing actual make up like eye liner. it's still all very strange to me, but to each his own

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  139. still not understand why people are sooooo obsessed with bloodline. like, i get it if you're a prince or sth but if you're not....

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  140. No, they take the surname of the husband.

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  141. I'm not against men wearing little make up.....as long as my bf buys his own stuff and doesn't steal my expensive stuff!! :P

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  142. Why do this preference for girls sound like they wanna raise maids? & why do they talk like boys are just there to continue bloodlines? So selfish... theres lots of countries tht do this, i cant understand.. r these ppl cavemen?

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  143. I wonder if the adoption rate for mixed korean children has gone up with globalization? i read that black-korean mixed children are still having a hard time being adopted, so does this statistic apply to them?

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  144. I thought a lot of women want boys more than girls. Having a boy means that he will be a mama's boy and he will most probably never forget you. A girl is more hard to discipline but then again that is how u raise them out to be.

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  145. Daughters aren't naturally weak. But if you raise them to be - giving them smaller food portions, not letting them do hardcore sports, putting them in clothes that restrict their physical movement like heels or skirts - then surprise surprise.

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  146. You're not wrong. It's just that I don't think it's a nice think to keep pointing out stereotypes when we should get rid of them

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  147. Gender studies try to debunk the unconscious but still prevalent thought that men and women must and naturally comform to a set type of behaviours, kinda like cellphones in a store that you can willingly change (install apps etc.) and transform for society's sake.


    Especially when it comes to women. Even with liberties, people sometimes unconsciously disregard other people's feelings, specifically women. There is this prevalent thought that women are meant to be fit to a standard, without any regard to their own complexity as human beings. It's not outright written in the comments, but it's there, because most of them have similar expectations about daughter adoptees, because society will mold them to that idea, and anything that deviates is not even thought about, like in the comments. They want baby girls because they already take for granted that these baby daughters will grow up to think exactly like they want them to think like.

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  148. I'm in a confusing situation where I'm one of the weird ones who actually LIKES the traditional woman stuff (I love school and working too don't worry!) I clean the house when I'm stressed and it makes me happy to see the space I live in clean, and I like cooking because it's a form of artistic expression and it makes me so incredibly happy to see my family eat something yummy happily. But my mom doesn't cook, doesn't clean, doesn't go to the market, and always makes fun of me for liking to cook so much. She says my future husband is just going to use me and then spit me out if I do too many domestic things but I truly like doing those things. Sigh so confusing.

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  149. I exaggerated it, that's the point of sarcasm.. But it was a bit implied. I was most shocked by things like "Boys can go on Ilbe" etc.. So does it mean only boys can become assholes? Does it mean girls in general are "nicer"? "sweeter"?

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  150. Jenizz | pinkcrownMay 11, 2015 at 5:24 PM

    Comment #8.. I just did a standing ovation for you.. you go dear, you are the future. I love you.

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  151. Same. I was watching My Neighbor Charles and almost vomited from the one couple. The lady is from Italy and she was complaining about how her mother in law expects her to cook and clean all day, even though she is a professional chef. And she never tells her son to clean, only her daughter in law. Ridic.

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  152. Unfortunately as long as the stereotype stands people will continue thinking this way. I agree it's bad but it's the same stereotype which keeps men from wearing makeup or using more skincare products.

    Though I think slowly the world is changing for the better. Judging by the amount of advertisements and products targetting men.

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  153. "they can't continue blood line" "girls are more filial" "girls have more aegyo" "boys are more rebellious".....the hell are they saying.....it's true boys and girls are different but a boy can have aegyo, a boy can be filial, a boy can be not rebellious...and viceversa....

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  154. Jenizz | pinkcrownMay 11, 2015 at 5:30 PM

    At things like 'continuing the blood line' I realize again just how young Korea actually is..

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  155. But everybody in Korea has the same last names so that theory goes poof

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  156. In the end, gender is still one of the things they have to choose with their own reasons. A boy or a girl. It's inevitable in any society that social learning will shape behavioral differences between girls and boys in general after all.

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  157. If you like it then keep doing it. If cooking and cleaning make you happy, I don't know why you should stop it.
    If your future husband doesn't like you for who you are or what you like then this guy won't be the good one. That's all. :3

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  158. Nothing more annoying than a person denying all of the damage that white supremacy has and will continue to do in this world smh.

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  159. i think you're reaching tbh

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  160. Funny how at work, i told a coworker I'm not taking my husband last name when I'm married and he freak out. In the states, people expect wife to take husband name which i find is so ridiculous. In high school, i had a class where i helped in the office, and got to talk to one of the administrator. She think that it's more about convenient. She asked me, "wouldn't the kid get confused when mom has a different last name?" and "don't you feel left out when the rest of the family has the same last name and you don't?". Yeah I understand the perspective, but for a country that take so much pride in individuality and freedom, it doesnt take much for them to judged and criticized me for my view. Last name is so important to me, even more than my first name. I don't understand how some people expect it's natural for the woman to give that up easily. I'm not fan of hyphenated last name either. It seem I'm destined for destitute this lifetime.

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  161. well they also said that baby girls are cuter so lol

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  162. oh come on who the fuck cares. ya wearing make up? cool good for you man. oh wait, you say you're a woman and not man? ok great as long as you like it.

    it aint any of our buisness.

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  163. I don't mind having a son or a daughter. But I want one of each, hehe :D No pressure chromosomes, no pressure.

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  164. Koreans still have the view that children will take care of their parents when they are older and girls do it better. My wife was disappointed at first when she learned we'll have a son.

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  165. i think you got confused. When they say family name, they don't just mean literally the name. They mean the bloodline. So if they don't care about bloodline (since it's adoption anyway) they want to raise a daughter instead of a boy for all the reasons stated above.

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  166. but isn't that in every country, that a child should take responsibility of their parents when they're older?

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  167. it's not just 19th century. it's still pretty relevant today. I know for a fact that my parent think I'm an investment anyway. One time i was listening to one of my mom's friend conversation with my mom, i was so put off. She was so proud to speak that way. She said her niece was studying overseas, and since she was being filial, she snagged an American guy to married so that her family wouldn't have to pay so much for educational expenses when she got a green card. Then she said herself that she should have thought of sending her daughter off instead of her son, since her son is being sent back since he can't get hooked up with anyone. It's much easier for girls to do so.

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  168. So basically, they're saying parents hates having a son, but rather have a daughter? They think that having a daughter is much better than having a son? If they have a son, then they adopt him to overseas, however if they have a daughter, they keep them.

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  169. It is. You get jaded as you grow older. There is no unconditional love. At least I haven't seen it.

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  170. You have children-natural, adopted, step children- because you want a family and you want to share your life with them, not because you want a house maid or someone to carry a bloodline.

    As a parent or adult daughters, I have never ever thought of my "girls" as someone who will take care of me in my old age or who can do chores around the house. I have always seen my girls as a gift and I love them and cherish them as something totally wonderful that I have been given.

    Being a mother is so precious and amazing, I feel like some of these comments are marginalizing what it is to be a parent. I do get angry with my daughters, but never ever have I once regretted having them.

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  171. No. Not Chinese. I have Chinese friends who are offended to learn about wives having to take their husband name here in the States. I don't speak for ALL Chinese of course. But as far as I know, last name is very important to them, and giving it up just for marriage is like betraying their own parent.

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  172. sure! ^^ It's http://theworld-accordingtocasey.tumblr.com/tagged/his_makeup_is_flawless

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  173. 6. [+28, -14] I was really shocked when I went on the subway recently. You could tell right away that they were wearing base make up, color products, BB cream, sunblock... They looked like they were in theater dress ㅎ I'm not saying don't put on make up but at least ask your mom or nuna or little sister if it looks alright and get some tips ㅠㅠ

    Yes please. Not that I hate guys with make up but it's so distracting unless he wants eyes gawking at him in public.

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  174. 😨 Horrible. I feel like they are picking a pet.

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  175. In contrary, its off putting if he doesn't care about himself. People like #2, #3 may be thinking that it's not manly to do so, but most girls don't want to date guys who are like cave men, just saying. It doesn't mean you have to put makeup on, it means you have to take care of yourself, starting with the clothing, hair, skin(!) etc.
    And I would totally date a guy who wears guyliner, it's freaking hot.

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  176. My mom kept her maiden name after marrying my father. She has encountered some problems with it but she says the times are changing and that it is becoming more and more accepted.

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  177. Also* reflect about that world

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  178. Adoption isn't about raising a future servant in your family, only thinking how can the kids help you. It's about giving love and helping a kid that for some reasons didn't have the opportunity to have parents that can help him in the path of become an independent adult. Who cares about the gender?

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  179. oh qqbbq you make my day

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  180. Maybe they can base their choices in the kid needs instead on theirs.

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  181. it would be weird if guys in my country wearing make up. but it's ok if its not a heavy makeup since our skin tone here is quite a bit dark XD

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  182. i actually liked the fact that they appreciate the girls role and know that they are the real help for the family one day unlike the ordinary idea "man of the house" ..etc etc
    P.S: i'm arabian so that old thoughts really bother me

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  183. "ignorant hate on this site is overwhelming sometimes"


    Couldn't have said it better myself

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  184. everyone in korea wears too much make up wether it's male or female so let's nt focus on one side if u want to creticize

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  185. I don't think that's a given anymore. Families are not that close-knit, it's rare to see several generations under one roof. Children move away, sometimes to a different country, they don't have the time/money to care for their parents or simply they are just not that close. (Of course I am only speaking from my experience)

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  186. Yea I know that which is why I stated it says wife of because many Koreans have the same surname

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  187. Not sure why you're replying to me since I never said it was weird but OK? Working in my field definitely teaches me a lot about other cultures and if something is unfamiliar to me I usually ask the passengers about it. I think the only thing that surprised me was seeing "wife of" but I attributed it to maybe the husband and wife having the same surname. Passports are interesting

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  188. ugh yes.
    SHINee especially <3

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  189. Number 8 is a shining beacon in the middle of an abyss of hate. You go number 8! It's up to them if they want to wear makeup or not, it will literally not effect you in the slightest.

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  190. A girl is alot more fun but I would also want to adopt a boy if I adopted a girl.

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  191. 6. [+28, -14] I was really shocked when I went on the subway recently. You could tell right away that they were wearing base make up, color products, BB cream, sunblock... They looked like they were in theater dress ㅎ I'm not saying don't put on make up but at least ask your mom or nuna or little sister if it looks alright and get some tips ㅠㅠ



    seriously, who cares if you wear makeup, but please, your face needs to match your neck...

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  192. Adopting a child is kinda like buying a child though and alot of..people have a specific taste on how the child should look like or the age.

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  193. Lol and you get butthurt? Nice.

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  194. To add to that, in Japan if the woman has a more prestigious surname (ie, samurai/aristocrat/etc family line), then the father will take on the mother's surname.

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